The New Riley
by WhyFightAnEclipseWhenTheresJaz
Summary: My version of when Riley changes and his mom comes in. Riley is finally ready to commit to Zane and he comes to his house but he is not ready to explain to his mom what's happening to his only son. Zane


Riley's POV

I woke up refreshed and smiling. Football season is finally over so now it's time for Zane, Zane, Zane. I smiled at that very thought.

The best guy in the world. Zane. I've put him through so much crap during the season and I had hurt him so badly that I wouldn't be surprised if he denied me today. Maybe it'd be easier if he did because then I could wallow in my pity and think of all the bad stuff I have gotten him into and the hurt I have put him through in only a short amount of time.

When he had wanted to join the football team I had told him that they wouldn't let an openly gay guy play for the team. He knew that I was, too, gay, even if I didn't want to admit it. Past my words, he tried out and he was the star kicker. I knew that there would be gay jokes thrown around in the locker room at him but I wasn't brave enough to stand up from him. Yet, there he was, every day taking insult after insult by either laughing it off of by totally ignoring the people. Then, me, there I was laughing with Drew and his crew. Of course, laughing at their jokes meant I was laughing at Zane, the guy I cared about even if I didn't show it, but I was also laughing at myself because I was, deep down and hidden away as best as it could be, also gay. I didn't respect him nor myself.

Though one day I did build up the courage to stand up from him but when I did I was quick to lose my temper; a temper I tried so hard to keep away from Zane so I wouldn't hurt him. If it hadn't been for Zane I would have punched Drew over and over until I broke his jaw so maybe, just maybe, he would learn his lesson and not make fun of Zane. If I would have done that Zane would have surely hated me.

The bachelor auction; Zane was up there being brave and I was in the hallway being a wuss. Sure, I wanted to be in there to be the one to buy him and to be the one to take him out on the date, but I was confronted with the nagging thoughts of what teasing I'd receive, and still in the football season at that!

I paced back and forth, back and forth, in front of the open doors. Over a sea of heads I could see Zane climbing the stairs onto the stage._ Now of never, _I thought. _It's now of never, Riley. Either you get you butt in there or your lose your chance. _I jumped through the doors and hollered above the loud voices. Zane's brown eyes met mine and they scrunched up in a smile and I couldn't help smiling back at him. In his eyes I could tell that he was happy about my built up courage. I could have told you want was going through his head, and I must say I was thinking the same things. Here was to new change! Here was to not hiding who I really was. I wanted to believe this was the end of hiding who I really was. It was time for Riley and Zane, Zane and Riley.

Of course, all thoughts of coming out of the closet was thrown right out the window after the night we had on the date. If you can even say it was a night... Sure a night to remember.

I was sitting at the table in The Dot waiting for Zane to walk in so we could enjoy the time together when I heard someone yell. I recognized the voice and bolted out of the little diner. I ran to the back and just as I got there I saw Drew and his crew disappearing around the corner. Rage was making me see red but I stayed behind and I went to the dumpster and there was Zane, struggling to get out of the dumpster. Why must people pick on such a great guy?

"Zane, I'm-" I tried apologizing. I should have been out here so this wouldn't happen. I'd take all the blame in the world; as long as Zane is happy.

"Save it," he said, his voice filled with venom and rushed away. I watched after him until he was out of my sight. I punched the side of the dumpster and then clutched my hand to my chest. At school I talked with Anya and she helped me subside his anger at me though I could see he always had that distrust in the back of his mind, but I don't blame him.

But now! Now is going to be a different day, a new start. Now it will constantly be Zane and Riley, not maybe Zane and Riley. I have feelings for him and I am going to follow those feelings now and not hide them like I have always done. Now I don't have to force the door closed when in reality I want to fling it open and scream to the world I'm gay. I only fear of the teasing and criticism that will follow such a move.

If Zane can do so can I.

I stood up and stretched. There was a soft, timid knock on my door.

"Come in," I called and my mom appeared with a bright smile on her face.

"Well, someone must be in a good mood!" She said, commenting on the fact that I answered her when she knocked, when usually I mumbled at her to go away or just totally ignored her.

I chuckled, "There's a good reason to be."

My mother gave me a sideways glance and sat down on my bed, "And would that be because of a certain someone?" My mom asked being blunt with her questions. With her there is never any sugar coating.

My smile faded and my happy thoughts died away. Of course my mom wouldn't be allowed to know it was a boy that made we so happy. She would surely kill me, being 100% catholic. I'd have to move away before anything would get too serious between us, if it ever did.

"Um," I said quietly, then changed the subject. "Oh yeah, can Zane come over to study? He's a friend and we have a big test on Thursday and I want to start studying for it."

She watched me for a moment while I dug through my draws for clothes to wear today, "Sure. That's fine. I might be late from work tonight, so don't you go inviting anyone else. Okay, Riley?" She stressed, noting wanting a repeat of any recent years. She got off my bed and put her hand on my shoulder, "I don't want any repeats from recent years." She said, speaking my exact thoughts.

"Okay," I agreed easily and she left my room, closing the door behind her.

Here comes the new Riley!

I dressed hurriedly and picked up my discarded clothes.

I stopped mid-way from standing up, "Wow, this is a first," I said aloud, tossing my clothes into the hamper in the hallway.

I went into the bathroom down the hall to do my daily routine of washing my hair in the sink and brushing my teeth. I put on my deodorant, sprayed some cologne and glanced over myself before heading to my bedroom to grab my school bag. I stomped down the steps like an elephant and put my hand on the door knob.

"I'm heading for the bus, mom!" I yelled through the house but her voice stopped me from going out so I sighed.

"Riley, you will not! You will eat some breakfast first." She spoke from the kitchen and I had to laugh a little. I guess my good mood rubbed off on her. Too bad if she knew the real reason she would be far from happy; the total opposite.

I rushed into the kitchen, she was sitting at the kitchen table by herself eating breakfast. She was chewing on a piece of toast when I came up behind her, plucking the other piece from her plate and taking a bite of it.

"There, happy?" I kissed the top of her head and disappeared before she could question me. I knew she was shocked by my actions; even I am.

The bus ride couldn't have taken any longer. A ten minute bus ride felt like it took ten hours. The whole bus ride my heart was beating with anticipation and my stomach fluttered. While my mind raced I though about how... girly I was acting. I was giddy with excitement and I couldn't explain exactly why. I've talked to Zane so many times, what makes this different? Is it the rush of officially coming out of the closet? Or the fact that I can finally be myself and be a couple with Zane...?

When the bus finally cane to a stop in front of the school I jumped out of my seat and impatiently waited for the people in the front to get out. A kid fell down in the isle and I stood on my tiptoes and peered at the clumsy kid, "Get up, dang it!" I yelled louder then I intended and the kid scattered up and ran out of the bus.

"Dude, don't be so rude," someone behind me said but I ignored them because all I saw was the people moving and the line in front of me growing shorter.

I walked down the steps and headed from the school doors. Before I reached the door I found Anya and ran to her, picking her up from behind, causing her to squeal, and spinning her around in a circle.

"Anya, it's time for Zane. Footballs over." I was smiling brightly at her.

She jumped at me and put her arms around me neck, smiling brightly herself, "That's great, Riley. I'm proud of you. So, I'm guessing it's official?"

"Once I find him and apologize for my rudeness and once he accepts me..." My sentence trailed off and my smile, for the second time today, faded.

Anya understood what I meant and looked at me with understanding, "Riley, don't worry. You're a great guy and anyone who wouldn't want you must be crazy. And, between you and me, I talk to Zane, too. That's all I'm saying," She smiled her lovely smile, "Now, go get your man." She nudged with her elbow.

I looked at her for a moment and the hugged her again, "Thank you so much," I sat her down and hurried up the steps and in through the door. Of course, once I got in the doors I had no clue where to go next because I have no clue where he was. I was debating on whether I should go back and ask Anya but I decided against because this was my duty and I will go through fire to find him.

But I didn't have to get far because there he was, walking down the hallway towards me, his head down in a big textbook.

I quickly walked up in front of him and closed the book, he looked up startled, "Study for a test, are we?" I laughed and took the book out of his hands.

"I was, actually," he laughed trying to grab the book from my hands but I held it back.

I changed the subject, "You know, I was ready to walk through fire to find you."

He stopped reaching and looked at me, as though he was looking deep into my soul. He must have found something he liked because he smiled, "I wouldn't want you nice face getting burnt because of me, huh? So, I guess it's a good thing you didn't have to walk though fire. It's a nice thought though," He said jokingly but, to my mind, it took on a double meaning and I decided to confess.

I pulled him to an open bench by his hand, "Sit, please." He noted the serious tone in my voice and sat facing me, "Okay, Zane." I kept my voice down, "You know I like you. I've liked you for a while but I've hurt you so many times that I feel like I should really apologize to you. I need to apologize about my temper, my betrayal, and my carelessness." He let me talk without interruption.

"I swore to you that I wouldn't lose my temper yet I did so many times, too many times to count. I lost my temper with Drew because I didn't like how he was treating you and, if I must really come down on the truth, I didn't like being confronted with the truth. You know how hard it was for me to know that I was," I paused, "gay. That's not an excuse though. I betrayed you so many times. I promised you I would change but I just couldn't because of football. I was too ashamed in being how I was and I was afraid I wouldn't be accepted. But there you where, going through the days on the football team, taking insults left and right and just brushing them off. I could see every time someone insulted you, I could see the hurt in your eyes but when I joined in I could tell that that hurt you the worse. That it stabbed at your heart but that was the only way to keep my truth at bay. I'm so sorry for all that I put you through, Zane. If I could I would take it all back."

"Like I said though, all would change after football, and Zane, it's after football. I vow to keep my promise and I will not break this one. I would understand if you didn't want to accept me after all I have put you through but I just had to tell you."

He looked at me for a moment, his eyes shining, with what I don't know. He was hard to read right now and I was dying inside to know what was going through his head. He reached out his hand and hesitantly put in on top of mine, which was laying on my leg.

"Riley, calm down." He continued to watch me, "Riley." He said louder and that's when I noticed that my leg was bouncing and my hand clutched in anger, "You know I don't like your temper," he tried smiling; lightening the mood.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. I unclenched my fist and attempted to stop my leg from twitching but I couldn't do that.

"I forgive you," he said when my anger subsided, "I understand how hard this is for you and I will not rush anything on you. You can have your space and we can move at the pace you want to go at. I know how you feel. I was confronted with the same feelings as you but I didn't have anyone to turn to. I don't want you to go through that so I'm going to be here for you. I like you, too, and I want to be with you. That's why I put up with all the stuff that comes with you because that's how you are and no one is going to be able to change you, no matter how hard they try. It's like pushing against a brick wall."

I was surprised at what he said that I suddenly felt guilty. I never knew that he had to go through these feelings alone, "I'm so sorry." I said again. "I'm being so self-"

"Riley, no. Don't even think about saying you are selfish because you aren't, you're just stressed." He stood up, pulling me to my feet, "Stop thinking like that. I forgive you and that's all you need in that pretty little head of yours." Zane smiled and started pulling me along at his side.

During the day I tried telling Zane that he shouldn't forgive me so quickly but he would just shut me out and tell me that it was a way to show that he would do anything for me. That just made me feel even more guilty but I decided to put those things on the back burner to think about when I was alone. I brought up about him coming over to study later and he said he'd come over right after school. He said his parents wouldn't care if he was out or how long so he wouldn't have to waste time going home.

"Well, how about walking?" I suggested quickly after school. It was random and Zane backtracked, confused.

"What?" He asked.

I laughed nervously, "How about walking back to my house? It's not that far from here; maybe a 15 minute walk."

"That's sounds like a plan to me," he agreed, walking away from me. When I didn't follow after him he turned around, smiling, "Are you coming?"

I walked behind him as he walked towards the drive of the school. Before he reached the road I caught up to him and he started following close to my side in complete silence. The only thing that told me he was still following me was his light footsteps.

The silence wasn't awkward but I decided to fill the silence for a little with questions such as 'So how was school?' 'What's your favorite color?' 'Do you have a lucky number?' But then we started getting into the more serious questions such as, 'How old were you when you finally told your parents?' ' How did they react?'

He started asking me his own questions in return and the one that stumped me was: "When are you going to tell your mom?"

I stopped in my tracks and looked at him, not answering. He read my silence and sudden stop and backtracked, "Never mind, you don't have to answer." He said and waited for me to respond in some way.

While he watched me my mind raced. I could never tell my mom. She'd surely kill me being catholic. I remember when I was a little kid she would joke around and say that if I were ever to turn the other way she would kick me out of the house and I'd have to live on my own, no matter my age. At least, I think she was joking because she would laugh after, but maybe she was being serious and only laughed so she wouldn't scare me. Would she kick me out? Her own son?

Zane pulled at my hand which was ridged at my side, "I'm sorry. Come on, Riley. I said you didn't have to answer." He pulled my hand from my side and intertwined his fingers into mine in a comforting gesture.

I shook my head and said, "I can't tell her," and started walking again, my fingers laced with his. His hand against mine calmed me and I looked at him, "But that's okay."

He didn't look at me, "Riley, please, you have to tell her. You're strong and you can handle anything thrown at you. I can be behind you if you want, not that I think that's good idea, but please think about telling her if you think you want to continue to be with me for a while. I know I want to be with you but I can deal with keeping it hidden from your mother. I feel like I'd be going against a family member. I know what it feels like to not be wanted, Riley, and I don't want you to feel that way so I will be behind you 100%." He glanced at me from the corner of his eye but quickly went back to something on the ground.

Only one sentence stuck out to me, really. _I know what it feels like to not be wanted... _"You'll never have to feel that again, Zane." I whispered mostly to myself but whether he heard it or not I wouldn't know because he didn't respond to me. "My house is right down the road and my mom's not home and she won't be until later she said."

Alone with only Zane and we will not be talking about anything depressing like we just did. It's going to be relaxed and playful, I'll be sure of that.

"Okay. Cool. So you want to study for that test?" He laughed.

"How did you know about that?" I asked quickly. If I remember correctly I never told him about my plan. I didn't tell anyone, did I?

"Anya."

Ah, Anya, the person that both of us, unknowingly, went to. A great friend to both of us. She really helped me get Zane back and I'll never be able to repay her.

When we got inside I told him to stay down in the living room and I rushed up to my room, picking up stuff off the floor and trying to make it someone presentable in the matter of a few minuets.

I jumped when I heard a chuckle in the door way, "You don't have to clean up for me. If you are a messy person then that's just something I will have to learn to love." He invited his self in to my room and plopped down on my bed, fingering the sheets. "Sports? Looks like this is from when you were like five."

I sat down next to him, laughing, "Yeah, you are exactly right. I got these from Christmas when I was five and was big into sports and that. These are better then when I went through my Toy Story faze. Unless you'd rather my bed be decked with that."

We joked about my bed sheets and the stuff around my room. Zane had me tell every story behind every object in my room. Like my trophy's and where they came from, or my night light that was sitting on a shelf with a think layer of dust covering it. He asked me about the hole in my wall and I explained the story to him, telling him that there was a few in my closet. I put them there so my mom would never find them. I told him why my door was angled funny and I said that it was because when I was little I liked hanging on my door and my mom said that it would break if I continued to do so and that's exactly what happened one day.

By this time his hand was in mine and we were laying back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling just talking and laughing and funny memories. The sun was setting below the horizon, the day slipping away into darkness.

"Do you have to go soon?" I asked, wanting the answer to be no. I've spent a good few hours up here with him, yet it feels like it has only been a few minuets.

He dropped my hand, which disappointed me, and turned on his stomach, "Eh, I don't have to go I don't think. I mean, they're probably wondering where I am, but that's okay. They need to worry sometimes, plus I'm having too much fun talking with you." He leaned forward, smiling at me, "You're easy to talk to." He leaned a little closer, inches from my face.

My breath came a little faster and I couldn't help closing the little space that was left. When my lips contacted with his I felt that spark people say happens when you find the one. Zane didn't pull back so I knew I didn't make the wrong move. For once.

Zane pulled back after a moment and smiled at me and he could tell I was beaming, which made him smile more. My first real kiss. I thought I had my real kiss before with a girlfriend I had but that couldn't compare to this. This is my first real kiss.

I leaned in again, recapturing his lips and we continued . We were both so caught up in what we were doing that we didn't hear the keys in the lock, the feet down stairs, the feet continuing up the stairs and stopping at my door. Nothing stopped us until the door finally opened and I heard a gasp.

We both pulled back so quickly that I almost fell off the bed.

"Oh god." I whispered staring into my moms piercing eyes.

_**Sorry if there are any major mistakes. I wanted to get this done before the new episode and I have to get off right now so I will stop here. Maybe if I get reviews I'll continue, but then that'll ruin it because I know what actually happens, so probably not. This is my version of Zane and Riley. Please review!**_


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